Bryan had notes tucked away everywhere. I keep finding them in the oddest places – tucked in a random book or shoved between the pages of a take-out menu. I found one a little while back that I kept that he titled, The Benefits of Life Filled with Laughter Psalm 126:2 “Our mouths were filled... Continue Reading →
Are There Pickles in Heaven?
I was eating muffuletta from Jason’s Deli last week and they always come with a pickle. Bryan loved pickles. I found myself wondering, do they have pickles in heaven? https://media.giphy.com/media/8aLQDT8BXSj7y/giphy.gif It’s funny the things pop up in my mind. I want to be sure that Bryan is settled in and happy in heaven. How freaking... Continue Reading →
What’s that blob?
I thought more about my previous blog post of slamming doors closed when I’m not ready to open them. One of the whacked-out things about grief is I still find myself cracking open those doors and taking a peek inside. I usually do that when I know I’m alone and can ugly cry if it... Continue Reading →
So it goes
It's been seven weeks. The shock is starting to wear off a little bit that Bryan is gone. I can tell because I’m starting to think more about the time we were in the hospital. Little snippets pop in my mind and I start to feel a bit panicked. It’s similar to how I imagine... Continue Reading →
The Little Things
When I get ideas for my writing, it’s never convenient. What usually winds up happening is that I’ll scratch it down on a napkin or a gas station receipt until I get to where I can properly record it. Whenever that is. While going through some of my papers that have been horribly neglected over... Continue Reading →
A Widow’s Jealousy
An older couple sat across from me on the plane who joyfully did their own thing; she was busy editing a musical score and he was busy flipping through news stories on his phone. They took a few seconds out to sneak a kiss in. It was the sweetest thing in the world and it... Continue Reading →
Hair Bands
Bryan and I had quite a bit in common. One of our shared loves was for 80s hair bands. While I didn't don a bandanna and rock out at quite the level Bryan did, I enjoy a good rockin' concert and if you catch me at a traffic light, I'm liable to be belting out... Continue Reading →
Life Goes On
It's been two weeks since Bryan left this world. I look at this statement and it still doesn't click in my brain sometimes. I'm a bit of a loner by nature. I love people and I love being out and having fun, but I also enjoy quiet solitude. I can go for days without talking... Continue Reading →
Significant Moments
I’m watching Field of Dreams because number one: I’ve always loved the movie and number two: Bryan also loved the movie. I wanted to channel Bryan somehow through it. I did. "You know, we just don't recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they're happening. Back then I thought, well, there'll be other... Continue Reading →
Don’t Slow Down or You’ll Die
When Bryan was little, a commercial for Cystic Fibrosis came on TV. I don't know what the commercial was, but it apparently didn't have a good outcome, because he declared, "That's not going to be me." Anyone who knew Bryan knew he did things almost at a manic pace while trying to cram as many... Continue Reading →
My Mosaic Life 
