Last year, I started going through A Mourner’s Kaddish Companion, a Jewish method of dealing with grief. I haven’t done it daily. It’s been hit or miss as I’ve dealt with all the messiness of grieving. But I picked it back up recently and it’s really been helpful. That whole five stages of grief is... Continue Reading →
The Need to Say Goodbye
It occurred to me that Bryan and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I hear about all these stories of people who are on death's bed and their family is all around them to say goodbye. Or maybe they bring in each family member, one at a time, for final messages meant just... Continue Reading →
Christmas #3 Post-Bryan
Do you remember when you were told to clean your room? Your solution was to shove everything in the closet and then slam the door fast before everything came tumbling back out (it’s funny how, as adults, we do that same thing). It works. Until you need something in the closet. You gently ease the... Continue Reading →
Unconventional Kaddish
I’m steadily going through Grief in Our Seasons by Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky. It’s meant to be read immediately following the death of a loved one and it’s also meant to be gone through daily. I started reading it over a year and a half after Bryan died and I definitely haven’t gone through it... Continue Reading →
I Hit A Brick Wall
I hit THE WALL today. via GIPHY I didn’t even know that was a thing. I’m trucking along, trying to find balance, trying to stay busy, trying to keep my sanity, when all of a sudden, WHAM. I run smack-dab into the most solid, mental wall I’ve ever encountered. I Googled grief and brick... Continue Reading →
Grief Has a Curveball
Just when you think you have grief somewhat figured out, it throws you a curveball. I don’t consider myself a delicate person who has to be sheltered from life. Grief, however, lowers that tough girl bar level WAY down. Like you’re one of the two last people in the roller skating limbo game and the... Continue Reading →
My Mosaic Life 