It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about my grief journey. It’s been six years and three months since Bryan has been gone. It feels as if that were another life, another version of me. It’s been a while since I’ve just sat quietly, thinking about him. I miss him. He made my life beautiful... Continue Reading →
A Mom, on Getting Older
I was watching a segment on CBS Sunday morning on Josh Seftel’s mother, Pat. She and her husband moved down to Florida 20 years ago only for him to suddenly pass away 10 years into their adventure. Pat began the next phase of her life by making new friends and creating a new space for... Continue Reading →
Grief Feels Like Fear
Father Bob passed away this week and it’s brought back so many emotions that I have to do what I always do in order to sort them all out – I journal. Father Bob married Bryan and me. He officiated his funeral. And in between those times, we shared conversations, jokes, laughter, tears. Bryan has... Continue Reading →
Hello, Grief, My Old Friend
You would think that after 3-1/2 years of living in the condo that I would have finally gotten all the little miscellaneous Bryan things sorted. I was going through my buffet, pulling out Halloween party things to properly pack away in my Halloween bins and came across two golfing gift cards that had been given... Continue Reading →
The Quiet Moments
I found this graphic today from @hopeforwidows on Instagram and it really has grabbed me. It’s been four years and four months as of July 7th of this year. It feels as if it’s been forever, but at the same time, it feels as though it just happened. As always, I use this blog to... Continue Reading →
Frozen in Time
This was the last photo ever taken of me and Bryan together before he went into the hospital for the last time. It was taken on December 24th, 2018, the Christmas Eve service at Saint John’s Episcopal. That night has been a bit lost in the haze of old memories. If I had to guess,... Continue Reading →
Why I Jumped Out of A Perfectly Good Airplane
My 50th birthday this year wound up being a bit of a dud. I was sick (again) for about two weeks. My birthday passed by during that time in a fog of a three-digit fever and on the other side of it, I was 50 years old and nothing to show for the celebration of... Continue Reading →
Navigating Fall
I haven't blogged in a while and I miss it. I feel like it's a muscle that I've allowed to atrophy and even now, I'm struggling to find the words to type. October is a rough month. It's my favorite month and my least favorite at the same time. Fall break is going to be... Continue Reading →
Mourner’s Kaddish
Last year, I started going through A Mourner’s Kaddish Companion, a Jewish method of dealing with grief. I haven’t done it daily. It’s been hit or miss as I’ve dealt with all the messiness of grieving. But I picked it back up recently and it’s really been helpful. That whole five stages of grief is... Continue Reading →
Weird Widow Milestones
I crossed a bit of a milestone last month. June 7th marked the day that Bryan will have been gone for the same amount of time that I was with him when he was alive. It’s a weird milestone. I’m not even sure how healthy it was to have even acknowledged that date, but that's... Continue Reading →
My Mosaic Life 