It’s Not Okay

When I was 15, I fell in love with a funny, goofy guy who played tuba in the high school band. It would've been a normal story about high school sweethearts except I had done something that was still considered a social taboo in the late 80s - he was a black guy. In the... Continue Reading →

Weekend at Bernie’s

Lazy Saturday mornings are the best. I can fix pancakes without having to wolf it down and dashing out the door for work. I can drink mimosas without guilt because drinking champagne during the work day is frowned upon in the U.S. I throw some strawberries in there so technically, a mimosa is a vehicle... Continue Reading →

Why I Wear a Mask

When Bryan was fitted with the transfer set as part of the peritoneal dialysis process, we would both wear a blue mask and wash our hands (I sang happy birthday twice - every time) before attempting to clean the transfer set and/or open it for the dialysis bag hookup and detachment. We did this EVERY.... Continue Reading →

The Gap Closes Quickly

I was flipping through my Facebook memories this morning and came across a photo I had posted of a bottle of wine. I didn't recognize the counter in the background for a minute. Then it hit me: it was the counter at my rental condo from a year ago, the first place I moved into... Continue Reading →

If the World Was Crazy

I was playing around on the Internet and stumbled across the most hilarious poem by Shel Silverstein. It totally fits what's going on in our crazy world: When the Coronavirus hit hard back in March, I started getting grocery delivery. It was a good idea except for the fact that I live in a place... Continue Reading →

Keeping Still

In our new normal, daily chaos has ensued. It's a bit more difficult to find our Zen. I found this on Meg Ryan's Facebook page. Written by a Chilean politician/diplomat, it really spoke to me on the practice of keeping still regularly. While the world rages around us, we still have the ability to find... Continue Reading →

Where the Scary Things Hide

Humor is my therapy. When things get a little pear-shaped, I try to find humor in the situation. I was able to do that most of the time last year when I was trying to deal with Bryan’s death. With humor, I built hope for 2020 – the year I would be traveling, the year... Continue Reading →

Worry-Wart Widow

Sometimes my blog posts resemble more of a steady stream of consciousness than a coherent piece of writing. This blog post is something like that. I spent a lot of time thinking about COVID-19 and Bryan today. I wondered what he would have done in the middle of all this if he were still alive.... Continue Reading →

Making the Darkness Conscious

Someone once observed how I was able to self-reflect, how I can take a horrible situation and pick it apart, peeling back the painful layers of sadness, guilt, anger, and despair and analyzing each one. Why am I feeling this particular emotion? Can I do anything about it? Have I felt it before? What does... Continue Reading →

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