I hit THE WALL today.
I didn’t even know that was a thing. I’m trucking along, trying to find balance, trying to stay busy, trying to keep my sanity, when all of a sudden, WHAM. I run smack-dab into the most solid, mental wall I’ve ever encountered. I Googled grief and brick wall and was amazed at how common a thing this is for widows. The problem with this brick wall is when I hit it, all the wounds I’d been carrying that were scabbing over are now breaking back open again. And like regular wounds, there’s not a thing I can do about it other than bandage them back up and let time heal them.
I’m in the process of bandaging and I’m not very good at it. This is going to take some time and like everything else having to do with grief, there’s no damn guidebook when you need one. Just know that I’m not ignoring folks on purpose and I’m not dropping balls intentionally. It’s just the side-effects of dealing with loss.