Navigating Fall

I haven't blogged in a while and I miss it. I feel like it's a muscle that I've allowed to atrophy and even now, I'm struggling to find the words to type. October is a rough month. It's my favorite month and my least favorite at the same time. Fall break is going to be... Continue Reading →

Mourner’s Kaddish

Last year, I started going through A Mourner’s Kaddish Companion, a Jewish method of dealing with grief. I haven’t done it daily. It’s been hit or miss as I’ve dealt with all the messiness of grieving. But I picked it back up recently and it’s really been helpful. That whole five stages of grief is... Continue Reading →

Weird Widow Milestones

I crossed a bit of a milestone last month. June 7th marked the day that Bryan will have been gone for the same amount of time that I was with him when he was alive. It’s a weird milestone. I’m not even sure how healthy it was to have even acknowledged that date, but that's... Continue Reading →

Do They Have Golf Carts in Heaven?

It’s been three years and you would think that I would have gotten rid of the things of Bryan’s that traditionally would have been just junk. Like his wallet. It’s been tucked away this whole time while I’ve moved to two new places. Its last home was in my desk. I had thrown it in... Continue Reading →

Maundy Thursday

One of the lovely things about being an Episcopalian is being part of a group that has traditions going back hundreds and hundreds of years. I’ve enjoyed the rites performed at our services and take great comfort is knowing that what I’m doing is being done by others all over the world. Christ commanded that... Continue Reading →

The Need to Say Goodbye

It occurred to me that Bryan and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I hear about all these stories of people who are on death's bed and their family is all around them to say goodbye. Or maybe they bring in each family member, one at a time, for final messages meant just... Continue Reading →

Christmas #3 Post-Bryan

Do you remember when you were told to clean your room? Your solution was to shove everything in the closet and then slam the door fast before everything came tumbling back out (it’s funny how, as adults, we do that same thing). It works. Until you need something in the closet. You gently ease the... Continue Reading →

Food Porn

At some point in the ongoing life of Facebook, someone decided it was a great idea to post a picture of what they had for dinner. The presentation, the yumminess of it, the venue - all were just too irresistible not to share with SOMEONE. From there, a new age exploded - the food pic... Continue Reading →

We’re Vaccinated. Now what?

For those who have been vaccinated, it’s been deemed safe by the CDC to go maskless. The problem? For those of us who have been diligent about wearing a mask, we now feel naked without it. We also have a little fear tickling the back of our mind that whispers, What if you can still... Continue Reading →

Happy Easter

This was our last Easter together. Bryan was on dialysis from his failing kidneys so his body was reacting in ways it never had before. We wouldn't get married until that October. We had been engaged for about two weeks. We had been together for just over two years when this photo was taken. I... Continue Reading →

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